Noahs Leaving and Photo Requests

Once again I'm posting just a tad too late but..cope with me. Noah leaft and specially for his last day I brought my camera in to take a few photo's. Now I would put them up here but I haven't asked his premision yet (I still got to send him the photographs throught Guy). I however am most happy to let you have them through email. So email me or ask me at school.
The best photographs were of Noah and Amy (H), and Noah and Mrs. Muir. The whole class turned out all right but for a few smugess where people moved during the photo.
So talk to me about the photo's and hopefully I will be soon able to put them up here.

Comfort Eating and Public Speaking

Who sais that food can't comfort you? They lie! It can and it will. As far as I am concerned chocolate will save the world.

Told my class today... Charlotte (k) wasn't there, will have to phone her later.

They took it well...I think.

Old Post - Decision is Made

We're moving. Mum gave them the answer. I don't feel like writing.

Old Post - Emmm....News?

Mum told me this morning that as soon as one of her bosses realised that there is a fair chance that she will move they offered her a job. If she so wishes she can have the pleasure of filling in for a person while they're of being pregnant. This is genarally for one year and a lousy job. It is quite obvios that her bosses don't want her there but they are willing to sacrafice a 'job' so Andrew wont move.
Why did this have to happen now? When I already accepted that we will be moving (most likely), now there is a chance for me to stay. And I don't know what to do!

Old Post - Worry, Worry, Worry,

Yesterday I did nothing but worry, not a good thing for anyone really. You see me - love saying that, don't know why - mum was flying back from Australia (via Hong Kong) and should have been at home by 3 in the afternoon. Instead we got a phone call around 5 o'clock saying that the flights being held up. Now, no offence to early birds but really 5 o'clock just a little too early for me. So naturally I don’t remember Andrew - he picked up the phone - saying anything about how long the flight was getting held back for so I though it would only half an hour or something. It wasn't. It was more like over 6 hours.
So by one o'clock, I'm a bag of nerves, racing all over the internet and the house trying to calm me self down. And guess what (here comes my first rant) ever single flight tracking service said different thing. AND not one of those thousands thing (now I'm exaggerating) was correct. Go figure!
One said (the official Heathrow or Gatwick (don't remember which one) that her flight will arrive at 6 in the morning today, the other was convinced that the plane already took of at 7.35 - that’s from Hong Kong- and laded at 7 58 in London. Now someone please inform me how f**ing fast are their airplanes? Even the flight tracker in Widgets in Apple didn't help.
End of rant. Anyhow mum was home by midnight. But really, I am disappointed in Qantas Airways.

As you can guess we didn't really have much time to talk when she arrived (but I did spend a couple of minuets just sitting next to her) but we did talk properly today. More on that later, after all, all in good time. Today I was meant to have a Graffiti Project-thingy at the Youth Club. Mum walked me there at around 11:50 - she was supposed to have a meting in London but was to tired - and we waited there (by the Youth Club) for a while. In the end I didn't go, for one me and mum needed some 'girly time' to talk things over for an other there wasn't my usual Monday night crowd. I knew a few people. They were in two groups: David R from year 9 and a few younger boys (I saw them in the Centre later so I suppose they didn't go after all) and a few 'girly-showy-offy girls' from year 9. I personally was far more comfortable with the boys. No offence.
So me and mum, after waiting for about 10 minuets (she didn't want to leave me until I was inside) decided to hell with it all and went of. We visited the market - I forgot it was on- and I got some gloves, finally! My hand were to get weathered, or whatever is the proper name for when you hands turn slightly red and begin to bleed if you wash them in hot water? We also popped around to the bank with me finally setting up my internet account details. After that a quick stop at Sainsbury’s and Superdrug and we were heading home. Oh yeah! We also brought 2 rolls of wrapping paper.

Now for the talk, and although I don't feel like actually telling you this I know I should. We talked over it and in the end moving to Australia is the best decision. It isn't -as I see it- a way to say no. As mum -when she was away- received letter to say that she's been turned down from Cambridge, I really can't see there to be any other option. There is only 1 in 20 chance that she'll get the grant to stay and other than that we will end up being dependant on Andrew.
This may not come as a nice thing to say but moving there will be the best choice for all of us.

1. Andrew gets to go back to his homeland
2. No matter how much I love living here, it is only a village while Melbourne is multicultural city.
3. We wont be questioned on why we're there or stuff like that because of the 'multicultural' thing
4. People's views are much more relaxed there
5. I'll be near my first love - the sea

It does seem like a win-win situation, but why does my heart not wish to settle down in one place, why must it force mo to look beyond the horizon?




Travel has no longer any charm for me. I have seen all the foreign countries I want to except heaven & hell & I have only a vague curiosity about one of those. Mark Twain

You may wonder, 'How can I leave it all behind if I am just coming back to it? How can I make a new beginning if I simply return to the old?' The answer lies in the return. You will not come back to the 'same old thing.' What you return to has changed because you have changed. Your perceptions will be altered. You will not incorporate into the same body, status, or world you left behind. The river has been flowing while you were gone. Now it does not look like the same river. Steven Foster, The Book of the Vision Quest

Your true traveller finds boredom rather agreeable than painful. It is the symbol of his liberty - his excessive freedom. He accepts his boredom, when it comes, not merely philosophically, but almost with pleasure. Aldous Huxle

Old Post - October 22

A few days ago mum flew to Australia, Melbourne (on Thursday, today's Monday) She flew there for a job interview. Now she phoned to say that she's been offered the job, it's her choice to say yes or no. I don't remember what type of job it was - how many years, lecturer, researcher, that sort of thing. All I know is that...
I don't know why I wrote that because I don't know a thing. At first I was exited, I mean come-on she's got the job (well, kind of anyway) but after wards I've just got to pull the switch to say no to major emotions. Because you see it's a very BIG Deal. If I move I not only move my friends, my country but also the HEMISPHERE!
I don't mean to make light of the situation, I'm just in great indecision. What I'm going to do, oh yea I already know what I'm going to do. I'm going to throw my self into research and homework. This way there be no time for me to think.

Old Post - 27th April

Right,
I've got somethings to put right even if I dont want to, desire to or need to. But you see if I don't a chunk of history will be missing from you. Now that wont do any of us good. So... I'm not moving to australia. I wont go into it. Just dont ask me to.
Two, I'm planning to do a challenge. Songs of May so to say. I will for every day in may, tell a story or write a poem. Well to be truthful be very creative. I know I will probably fail, so no need to give me that look but it worth a try.
Three, I seemed to be quite lonely in my journal. No one comments and no one friends. Oh well this is as much for me as it is for you.

Here's a poem for you because I'm already regretting the challenge (mind you can I add that it doesn't mean that I'll post every day! I may write every day and post all of them once a week!)

Dark stream mixed with sorrow runs far bellow,
My heart keeps beating, not that it shows.
Its hard to remember but memories flow,
If it will happen, no-one will know.

Why don't I jump,
In waters so sweet?
Why don't I fly,
To waters so deep?
Why don't I die,
Just to forget?
Why should I live,
Just to regret?

My soul has died so long ago,
And yet I'll live at the moment I go.
I will remember and honor the past.
I'll say good bye and all shall pass.

Well my work for the day seems to be done,
Пока!

Old post - 20 March

It finally hit home. Like someone poured salt all over my wounds. What does it say about a person if the emotions only hit a day after? I don’t know, for me is that I depend on logic to survive.

I’ll keep this post private for a while, simply because I would like to prolong the moment. To imagine that yes, indeed nothing has happened and everything is like it was before. I only felt this type of despair once before, when my uncle died. It’s the despair that grips your soul and wrenches your heart, but it’s the knowledge that finishes you off. You can’t do anything about what happened, or you won’t because it’s for the best but it still hurts.

I also don’t want the people who I know to get hurt until it’s invertible. Yes they won’t thank me for it, but I would like to treasure every moment I have left with them without any mentioning of what’s going to happen. If they ask I won’t lie, that will feel like betrayal to my heart and that will hurt them more when they find out.

If you didn’t know or never thought of it this way: emotional pain hurts much more than physical. However not to get hurt in that way, you need not to get close to anyone and that will hurt you even more. Trust me, this comes from a person who nearly worships solitude, I’ll have company any day. Simply because good company is worth a few sacrifices. I once wrote in my diary “Practice makes perfect, life makes it bearable.”

If everything was perfect we simply would kill each other off. It’s true. Think about it, if anyone is perfect they would have a perfectly fine understanding of how good they are. That will lead to arrogance and from there it will be a free rein for arguments to who is best. Just follow the logic thought from there (I won’t have to spoon – feed it to you will I?)

Yes I’m bitter, because there is finally a reason to use you properly. I didn’t create you get my preaches to the masses. I created you as a way of communication. If I ever move out of the country my friends will always be able to contact me. And now it seems to be there will be a reason for them to use you in such way.

Currently I reside in my bedroom in England, a year from now there is a 90% chance I’ll be residing in our new house in Australia.

Nothing more to add for now. Just the fact that I’ll be writing much more in you very soon.

Adiós

Old Post - New

Everybody experiences something new in their lives. Even if it's something small, it happens often enough. As you get older its starts getting harder to find new things, that is of course only if you don't try hard enough. When you're young everything seems new and you treasure it, the little findings which nobody else appreciates. When you get older the newness looses its novelty which I find somewhat sad.
So I'm going to try to record anything new I find, however boring it is. Why? Because its just is... And you should appreciate it for what it is.
Now I had a lot of 'new' in my life, everybody does. New of birth, new of first breath, crawl, step, word, first read book. All that is extremely precious. I won't list them all. There is just too many of them. It would take days and that will be a first as well. So instead I'll just list the new of this...
Live Journal. As this is my first post it's probably obvious that I indeed am new to this whole thing, so this post should be for my benefit as much as it for yours.
What I shall do... or just the rules I set for myself
When referring to a person use their middle names or code names (well just incase)
Don't ramble to much about how your day went, that’s not interesting to anybody, do something useful.
Do be nice to everyone (Well there is always hope for that one)
Project your views gently
Make sure people understand what your saying
Reread what you've wrote and spell check (For this to be read it's has to be legible)
Don't give up.

The things I'm going to try and to do on this...
On this day (but not every day, because that way after a year there won't be anything to write)
Word (a word I like... the meaning, interesting history...)
Viewpoints and Debates.
Say good bye in different languages.
And pretty much anything else that comes to my head.

Well I think I've done quite good.

Arrivederci!